Ego ExplosionA risk of spiritual awakening
Has your [bodily] ego exploded?
It is an understatement to say there is a lot of misconception about spiritual awakening and spiritual connection (a.k.a. ascension) out there. It is often a case of the blindfolded leading the blindfolded. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if it was just misconception, but unfortunately it is not just misconception we are dealing with. The truth is, a lot of things can go wrong in the awakening and activation process, especially when you start to get into advanced practice, and especially when you actually start “touching” the Fabric of Consciousness. The reality is, if you haven't done the ground work or if you have psychological damage from trauma and abuse you can run into a lot of trouble. You can lose grounding, float off into "ethereal realms," get lost in the "astral planes," and even get dumped into Spiritual Psychosis. The reasons for these difficulties are highly technical and going into detail about those in this little article is impossible. Here I simply want to contextualize the difficulties you (or your friends and family) might encounter and give you some things to think about should you, or someone you know, ever run into difficulties. In particular today, I want to talk about what I'd like to call egoic explosion.
And just what is an ego explosion?
Well, an ego explosion is the collapse and/or short circuiting of the mental structures of the Physical Unit, specifically the Bodily Ego. Ego explosion is basically what happens when the boundaries of a damaged, weak, or simply unprepared bodily ego contact the authentic power of higher Consciousness. Ego explosions happen when Consciousness expands into a Physical Unit that is not prepared for it. In other words, ego explosions occur when the mental apparatus of the Physical Unit is overwhelmed by the powerful light of Consciousness. Ego explosions represent a mental and emotional short circuit. When this happens the “locusts” of misconception, misdirection, confusion, fear, and even paranoia rise up and take the individual down. In the event of ego explosion the mental and emotional structures of the brain explode into tinseled shards of disjointed, and often delusional, disarray.
If you have ever been through an ego explosion, or if you have ever watched in horror someone who has, you will know exactly what I am talking about here. If not, or if you would like a bit more of a conceptual framework, think of it like this. Imagine a candle flame perched on top of a tall stool located in the middle of a large square room. There are no doors to this room, no additional furniture, and no other contents except for masses of crumpled up newspaper. The candle sits on the tall stool, and the newsprint fills the room to just an inch or two below the flame. The candle in the room represents your body's awareness, the mental “I” that you believe to be you). The candle, the room, and the walls of the room represent your Bodily Ego. The crumpled up newspaper represents the contents of your bodily consciousness; that is all the ideas, concepts, archetypes, memories, emotional imprints, etc., that you have collected since you were born into this world.1 To summarize, the candle is your sense of "I." The room is your bodily ego.
Now that you have the image of the ego/room in your head, imagine Consciousness (a.k.a. Krishna, Christ, God, Atman, your true divinity, your true essence, or however you think about it) is like the oxygen in the room. The oxygen is odorless and invisible so your bodily ego is not “normally” aware that it is there, but it is because if it wasn't the candle couldn’t burn. This is important: the flame of your body's consciousness absolutely needs the oxygen of true consciousness to burn. If consciousness withdraws from your physical unit right now, the flame of your little ego burns out, poof, and your body ceases to function.
Anyway, understand that right now, as you read these words, the oxygen in your room is probably at “normal levels” (that is, you are reading these words from the perspective of Normal Consciousness) and so probably the candle is burning as expected, with a gentle undulating flame, in a safe, controlled, non-explosive, and disconnected state. But “normal” bodily consciousness isn't the only state of consciousness that can occur. Imagine that just outside the ego box is the pure oxygen of Divine Consciousness. Under “normal” conditions the pure oxygen of Divine Consciousness is kept outside the room by the strict boundaries of the four walls. Under "normal" conditions, only small amounts of oxygen make it into the room.
The fact that only minor amounts of higher Consciousness enter the room is a good thing. Unless you have properly prepared, letting more Consciousness into the room can be disastrous. This is especially true if you have a lot of crumpled up newsprint in the room. We all know what happens when oxygen feeds a flame after all. When oxygen feeds an open flame, the flame burns brighter and hotter.
In a clean room, in a purified room, in a room that has been properly prepared, in a room where everything in order, in a room where the ego-walls intact and undamaged by trauma and abuse, in a room not filled with thousands of pieces of random, chaotically organized "newsprint," letting the oxygen flow and turning up the flame wouldn't be an issue.
However, pour oxygen into an ego-room filled with a chaotic collection of crumpled newsprint, the flame is going to burn bright and paper is going to catch fire. Depending on how much oxygen gets in the room, how much paper burns, and what's written on the paper, the entire ego-room (the Bodily Ego) could go flash and boom. The result of the flash could be anything from temporary emotional and psychological distress and disorientation to total emotional, psychological, and spiritual disaster--Spiritual Psychosis in other words. Temporary fear and anxiety, paranoia and delusions, psychosis and long term mental illness like schizophrenia, and even deadly machine gun fueled outbursts can be the result. It is hard to underestimate the damage that can be caused by an out of control ego explosion!
Which isn't to say that you should never let oxygen into the room! Kanye West experienced an ego explosion that had him hospitalized and in psychiatric care.Letting oxygen into the room and expanding your bodily-ego beyond the limitations of “normal” is exactly what spiritual practice is all about, and exactly what you want to do. It is the only way to enter "The Kingdom", as Christians might say, or attain Nirvana, as Buddhists might say. If you want to be fully human, if you want to move forward, then you want to connect and you want to fill the room. It is not an issue of can you or should you. It is not a question of being chosen or being worthy. Anybody can do it. The issue simply is, you have to be ready.
I suppose the question at this point is, what can you do to get ready? That's what the Lightning Path is about. The Lightning Path is all about getting you ready so that the oxygen of your consciousness can fill the room or your body.
The process of getting you ready is complicated and involved in the details, but conceptually it is quite simple. Preparation involves healing, education, and "purification." In brief...
Education involves providing you with concepts and ideas that you can use to understand and control your own process. Education is accomplished on the Lightning Path website, with the books, articles, explorations, and forums
Healing requires you to heal from damage caused by the Toxic Socialization process we have all endured. As I explain elsewhere, you can't fill the water glass if its damaged and full of holes. The Lightning Path aims to accomplish healing by education and through the provision of a sophisticated healing methodology which you can apply to yourself, or with the help of a qualified LP therapist.
Finally, purification is not moral or ethical or anything like that. You will understand now when I say, purification is simply about cleaning up all the crumpled newsprint in your room so that, when oxygen enters the room, it doesn't ignite and explode. Purification is accomplished as a natural part of the LP student process. As you read the books, learn the concepts, practice the techniques, heal from trauma, your room will naturally clear itself. As that happens, the oxygen of your higher Consciousness will naturally begin to fill the room. If we've done our jobs right, you wont' even notice it at first.
In closing I just want to say, if you've had an ego explosion, or if you know someone who has, don't worry. Unless we are talking total psychotic breakdown, in which case psychiatry and advanced psychology will have to get involved, you can learn to understand and handle it. Remember, preparation is a process of education, healing, and purification. It's not hard and it's not overly challenging, but it does require you take some steps forward. So, when you're ready...
1Esoteric note: The “newsprint in your head” “normally” only comes from your personal experiences, the books you've read, the television shows that you've watched, the discussions that you've had, and so on. As long as the walls of the room are intact, the newsprint and everything written on it comes from the memories and experiences of your current physical genetic line (basically your current life). If you disassemble the walls, or put windows in and open those windows from time to time, then paper can blow in from the outside, in which case some of the newsprint in your head may not belong to you at all but in fact may be sourced from anywhere outside your box. That this can occur is highly significant, something to be aspired towards (who wants to live a life confined inside the tiny egoic box of normal existence after all), but fraught with pitfalls and dangers. That this can occur is also a major challenge to “modern” psychological understanding of the physical unit, and worthy of extended spiritual study. But that is another story, and another lesson. For now, back to the room.
3See my Book of Light: The Nature of God, the Structure of Consciousness, and the Universe Within You for detail on God with a big “G” (and god with a little “g”) for that matter.
Revelation 9: Ego Explosion?
Then the fifth angel sounded: And I saw a star fallen from heaven to the earth. To him was given the key to the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit, and smoke arose out of the pit like the smoke of a great furnace. So the sun and the air were darkened because of the smoke of the pit. Then out of the smoke locusts came upon the earth. And to them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man. In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them.